Me: Hi, I’m calling because I’m receiving no notification on my IPhone home screen of there being any texts in my inbox until I actually open the app.
AT&T tech support: Hi Ma’am. So you can’t hear anything notifying you?
Me: No, I keep the sound on the phone off. I’m saying there is no visual notification on the home screen that there are any texts in the inbox.
Tech support: Okay, so it’s an IPhone, right? Go into the “Sounds” part under settings. And make sure the sound is on for texts.
Me: I think you’re misunderstanding me. On the IPhone messaging app, there is a little red number for the amount of texts you have waiting for you. I turn off the sound on purpose because it’s rude when I’m with clients, so I rely on the visual part to know when I have texts. That little red number isn’t showing up at all, so I don’t know when I have any texts until I open the app and there are a bunch waiting for me I wasn’t aware of.
Tech support: So you can’t hear anything notifying you or anything visual showing you?
Me: (*Sighing*). No, just the visual part is what I’m concerned about.
Tech Support: So, did you just turn the sound off now? That might be why you’re not hearing the texts.
Me: 😫. Um. It was always off. On purpose. I just need to SEE when there’s a text in there.
Tech support: Oh, so you want to SEE the notification of the text messages on the home screen?
Me: Sweet Mother of All that is Holy, yes.
(*Tries a few basic things in the settings menu she keeps screwing up and getting confused and eventually she figures out–stuff that I could have done myself in a lot less time*)
Tech support: Well, Miss Lisa, I have tried everything and concluded that your text messages are not working.
Me: (*thinking*) God help the next generation if this is the average intelligence level we are dealing with here…..
**Sadly, this isn’t at all exaggerated.
Adventures in Lunacy 
Wow! This is similar to my experience trying to order my Samsung phone online. Of course it wouldn’t take my credit card, so I had to call in to tech support. That took hours and it was quite a bit of reiteration and frustration so I get what you are seeing, sister!
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Immediately made me think of the movie “Idiocracy.” If you haven’t seen it yet, I suggest you give it a watch. I think you might enjoy it.
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